Humor, Photography etc.

Timothy D. Naegele

What follows are items of humor, photographs that I believe are exceptional, and other items that you might find interesting.  I hope you do.

 

 

20 responses

6 01 2016
Timothy D. Naegele

A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN

Queen Elizabeth II

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II:

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the United States and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

(You might wish to look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (excluding North Dakota, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you have noticed this change.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. The letter “U” will be reinstated in words such as “color,” “favor,” “labor” and “neighbor.” Likewise, you will learn to spell “doughnut” without skipping half the letters; and the suffix “-ize” will be replaced by the suffix “-ise.”

Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable British levels.

(You might wish to look up “vocabulary” too)

2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is unacceptable and an inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter “U” and the elimination of “-ize.”

3. July 4th will be celebrated as a holiday, but then so will this day.

4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you are not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you cannot sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you are not ready to shoot grouse.

5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling “gasoline”) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it and stop bitching.

8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call “French fries” are not real chips; and those things you insist on calling “potato chips” are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with “catsup” but with salt and vinegar.

9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as “beer,” and some European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as “Lager.”

South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on the Earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth.

10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialect in “Four Weddings and a Funeral” and Dick Van Dyke playing a “Cockney” in the film “Mary Poppins” were experiences akin to having one’s ears removed with a cheese grater covered in sulphuric acid.

11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it “soccer.” Those of you brave enough will, in due time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the “World Series” for a game that is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It has been driving us mad.

14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (since 1776).

15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers and never mugs, and shall be served with high quality biscuits (which you stupidly call “cookies”) and cakes; plus strawberries (with clotted cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!

QEII and Prince Philip

17 01 2016
smilinjacksez

The photos show a great appreciation of nature at its finest.

16 02 2016
Timothy D. Naegele

Lady Gaga’s Tribute To David Bowie [UPDATED]


[58th GRAMMY awards, February 15, 2016]

Some might wonder why I would celebrate Lady Gaga’s tribute to David Bowie at the GRAMMYs.

I have been a “fan” of Elvis Presley, the Beatles, the Beach Boys, the Eagles, Rod Stewart, Celine Dion and more recently the Rolling Stones, out of sheer respect for the latter group’s longevity and survivability.

I believe Bowie was a unique creative talent, who seemingly found great happiness in the latter years of his life with his wife Iman and their young daughter.

Tony Bennett has teamed up with Lady Gaga and praised her talents; and I have liked and respected him for many years.

When I watched her tribute to Bowie, I was struck by its creativity. One landmark TV concert by Elvis from Hawaii stands out in my memory; and albeit Lady Gaga’s performance was shorter and less heralded, it had similar hallmarks of creativity and originality.

Yes, everyone may not agree; and some may even be repulsed by her performance. But just as I enjoy music by Bach, so too I believe there is enormous talent in other parts of the musical spectrum.

10 04 2016
Timothy D. Naegele

Naegele House, Malibu

Bill Turnbull
Designed by William Turnbull FAIA

Design Sketch
Turnbull Design Sketch

Perspective
Perspective

Floorplan-upper level
Floorplan, upper level

Construction
Construction

From beach
From beach

From air
From air

See also http://www.tgharchitects.com/aboutus/history/founder/ (“William Turnbull Jr.“) and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Turnbull_Jr. (“William Turnbull, Jr.“)

18 04 2016
Timothy D. Naegele

Mako Shark Eating Sailfish Off Miami

[Note: Even though this video has the message above, just click on the “Watch on Vimeo” button and watch it]

18 04 2016
smilinjacksez

Keep going with Nature’s best…..

18 04 2016
Timothy D. Naegele

Thank you, Smilin Jack.

How nice to hear from you. 🙂

11 05 2016
Timothy D. Naegele

Chase Bank Commercial Walking Baby Pig

[Note: It is said that pigs make great pets. 🙂 ]

22 05 2016
Timothy D. Naegele

Flying Fish Hunt

[Note: compliments of Smilin Jack]

22 06 2016
Timothy D. Naegele

America’s Ford GT Wins At Le Mans 24 Hours [UPDATED]


[Ford executives—including Bill Ford, Executive Chairman of Ford Motor Company, and the great-grandson of Henry Ford—and the drivers of the Ford GT reflect on the GTE Pro class win Le Mans 24 Hours]

See http://performance.ford.com/series/ford-gt/news/articles/2016/06/ford-wins-le-mans–.html (“FORD WINS LE MANS!“); see also https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Clay_Ford_Jr. (“William Clay Ford Jr.“) and Henry Ford III mid-race interview at 2016 Le Mans 24 Hour:



Bravo. Well done! 🙂

11 08 2016
Timothy D. Naegele

Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli – Time to Say Goodbye (Con te partiro)

27 01 2017
Timothy D. Naegele

President Donald J. Trump and First Lady Melania Trump

President Donald J. Trump

The President and First Lady

President Trump

President and First Lady Trump

President Trump

Donald and Melania Trump

27 01 2017
Rick

I love him so far… He’s gonna be legend.

27 01 2017
Timothy D. Naegele

Thanks so much, Rick. I agree. 🙂

16 10 2017
Timothy D. Naegele

THE BOOK OF MANNING: ARCHIE, COOPER, PEYTON AND ELI


[In English with Spanish subtitles]

. . .

Eli and Peyton Manning in Denver, Colorado after Eli and his New York Giants’ 23-10 win over Peyton’s former team, the Denver Bronchos, on October 15, 2017:

Eli and Peyton Manning

5 04 2018
Timothy D. Naegele

Jewel: “My Father’s Daughter”

See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alaska:_The_Last_Frontier (“Alaska: The Last Frontier“)

19 10 2018
Timothy D. Naegele

Ford Boosts Production Of Its $400,000 GT Supercar As Demand Outpaces Supply Six-To-One


[Jay Leno Goes Head-To-Head With Le Mans Winner In The 2017 Ford GT]

This is title of an article by Robert Ferris for CNBC:

Ford is boosting the limited production of its $400,000 GT supercar to keep up with demand, the company said Thursday.

The Ford GT is the automaker’s answer to high-performance sports cars from companies such as Lamborghini, Ferrari, Porsche, McLaren and others.

Orders have been outpacing supply, prompting Ford to up production from the 1,000 GTs it originally planned to make in 2016 to 1,350. The company is also extending its production deadline from 2020 to 2022.

“The response to our Ford GT has been unprecedented, with initial demand outstripping supply by more than six-to-one,” said Hermann Salenbauch, director of Ford Performance. “By extending the Ford GT production run for a limited period, we’re able to maintain the exclusivity of the ultra-desirable supercar while offering the ownership experience to a greater number of customers.”

Drivers simply cannot walk into a dealer and buy one. They have to submit applications, which Ford reviews. The company is reopening the process on Nov. 8 for select markets and will run for the next 30 days. Those who have already applied need to confirm or modify their original applications to be considered.

The car is designed and engineered by Ford and built by hand by Canadian supplier Multimatic. It has a top speed of 216 miles-per-hour and runs on a twin-turbocharged, 3.5-liter EcoBoost V6 engine. EcoBoost is a line of engines Ford has developed that are meant to deliver power while conserving fuel. The body of the car is made mostly with lightweight carbon fiber.

On Oct. 10, Ford recalled about 200 of the cars due to hydraulic fluid leaks that could start fires.

See https://www.cnbc.com/2018/10/18/ford-boosts-production-of-400000-gt-supercar-to-keep-up-with-demand.html (emphasis added); see also https://naegeleblog.wordpress.com/2010/02/26/america-a-rich-tapestry-of-life/#comment-8976 (“America’s Ford GT Wins At Le Mans 24 Hours“)

There are reasons to believe that this is the finest car in the world today.

Since it is destined to be a collectors’ item, Ford is weeding out those potential buyers whose goal is a quick flip or profit.

19 10 2018
Timothy D. Naegele

Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper – Shallow (A Star Is Born)

See also https://naegeleblog.wordpress.com/humor-photography-etc/#comment-8174 (“Lady Gaga’s Tribute To David Bowie“)

4 04 2019
Timothy D. Naegele

World Record Size Hammerhead Shark Caught

Watch to the very end. 🙂

23 04 2019
Timothy D. Naegele

757-Pound Swordfish Caught Near Florida Keys

Michael Hollan has written for Fox News:

On March 31, Captain Nick Stanczyk took a group of clients out on his charter boat, unaware that he was about to make the catch of a lifetime. He led them to a location off the coast of Islamorada, Fla., a known spot for swordfish sightings. About 10 minutes after setting the bait, Stanczyk noticed they had a bite.

Initially, he was unaware of just how big the fish was. After about 40 minutes, he got his first look at the electric blue swordfish, and guessed that it weighed somewhere around 400 pounds. Over the next several hours, the beast would continuously dive deep and then come storming back up to the surface, but it never broke free from the line.

After five hours, the crew finally got their first real glimpse of the creature and realized that it likely weighed over 600 pounds. At this point, the swordfish started to charge the boat. Stanczyk kept his clients focused, and they were able to keep the fish hooked.

It took eight hours, but Stanczyk and his clients Bill and Debbie Lussier were finally able to harpoon the giant and use a pulley to bring it onto the boat. By that point, the struggle had caused the vehicle to drift 20 miles away from its starting location. When they got back to shore, it took seven people to get the fish off the boat, but it ended up being worth it.

The fish weighed in at an astonishing 757.8 pounds, a personal record for Stanczyk, and a new Florida record, according to The Miami Herald. To celebrate, he cooked up some swordfish steaks on the grill. Hopefully his family liked it, because they had plenty of leftovers.

See https://www.foxnews.com/great-outdoors/757-pound-swordfish-florida-keys (emphasis added)

Over the years, I have fished in the Keys, the Bahamas, off Kona and at Cabo, which are some of the great fishing spots in the Americas.

No one except the fisherman can touch the rod. Otherwise the catch is disqualified. I was bringing in a fish and the mate touched my rod, and I had to disqualify the catch at one of the tournaments in which we participated.

Today, catch-and-release tourneys are the thing; and I believe in them. Why kill the glorious animals just for sport, like killing elephants for their ivory tusks, or killing lions or wild horses.

Jeremy Wade, host of the television series River Monsters and Mighty Rivers, agrees with me.

See, e.g., https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeremy_Wade and https://jeremywade.co.uk/ (“Jeremy Wade“); see also https://naegeleblog.wordpress.com/2015/07/30/cecil-the-lion/#comment-14699 (“Dozens Of Elephants Killed Near Botswana Wildlife Sanctuary“) and https://naegeleblog.wordpress.com/2015/07/30/cecil-the-lion/ (“Cecil the Lion“)

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